Roar by Cage Aria

Author:Cage, Aria [Cage, Aria]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Contemporary
Published: 2014-03-14T16:00:00+00:00

I’m the same as I was before my eyes finally closed, only I feel cold and drawn. My shoulder drills, but I have to go to work, I have to dig deep and mask the loneliness and mess that is our life right now. So I drag my ass out of bed and escape it. I shower, brew dark coffee. I lock up the house, nursing my shoulder from the out-of-norm chill of this five a.m. morning until I jam the heat up in the truck.

By the time I get to the job; my leading hand, Connor, has already set up. This job is our biggest, a new estate. We got the contract, and it wouldn’t at all be possible if I hadn’t taken the leap to go out on my own after getting rejected from every construction company this side of the state. No one wanted to hire an ex-con, and I get that, but I feel for those who aren’t as lucky and successful as I. More than likely, they end up back in the pen because they can’t survive on minimum wage, or can’t get stable employment at all. Now I hold a contract with the state to teach the rehabilitated my line of work and offer them employment. So far it’s a success, despite some local backlash. For the most, folks see the benefits, and it offers a token of my penance by doing something good after everything.

I’m a simple kind of man; I just want to find myself, be proud of what I do, love another, and be loved by her. It can’t be any simpler than that.

I resist the urge to call her for maybe the hundredth time, just to see if she is okay, if she needs anything, and yet I know I can’t. Even if I could, even though I want to, I can’t change her mind or her need to do this on her own. Charlie’s strength is growing, and I won’t get in the way of that.

I would rather die than be the one who thrusts her under the covers and into the darkness again, when she is now seeing a glimmer of light past her secrets. I would rather die a horrible and painful death.

I’m welcomed back with the brunt of many jokes through the day, occasionally giving me a reprieve against the fucked-up call I have for her. I almost send one of the boys out to drive by the Grandview, but I give up on that idea when I think of the betrayal. It’s a constant struggle that I will fight like I fought every other addiction.

For twelve long days, I work until I can barely stand, but sleep doesn’t come easy. Day after day, I drag my ass home, feeling the emptiness of her absence. I wash and vaguely sleep, before having to face another day in a constant fight with my own compulsion, hoping she is winning her own fight. I’ve lost countless hours of

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